[21 Dec 2009|05:38pm] my_arienette [ mood | grumpy ] Some people on ONTD just make me want to rip my hair out and run screaming around the room. People are so fucking rude to each other for no reason. So, of course instead of being mature, I flipped out and was overtly-rude right back. Each response is filled with bitch, and twat name calling. Apparently this is what I've become. I feel dirty now. I'm sorry rude people on ONTD that I was rude back to, I'm usually not such a cunt. 1 comment|post comment

[12 Dec 2009|05:47pm] my_arienette i can't keep feeling like i will never be put first. the realization of it sinking in, is equivalent to being kicked repeatedly in the stomach. it's not a position anyone wants to be in, or put anyone in. it's awkward and painful. it is not his families fault, i love them, and i hate being in the position of saying things that come out sounding more or less, "me or them". that's NOT how i feel. i don't ever want to disrespect their family time and traditions. i just find it hard to believe that things will somehow change, and holidays with me will be put first if our relationship goes to the next level. am i not worthy of that now? we shared a home, and our life for a year, and i feel like i'm still on the back burner. i don't know if i can commit any more time if it means having to swallow my feelings about this stuff for the rest of my life. i'm EXHAUSTED, exhausted, and the past week has given me more insight than an entire year and a half. 1 comment|post comment

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